I found out about Five Guys from my Uncle who lives in Washington DC where Five Guys originated. I didn’t really recall my first Five Guy’s burger when I visited last winter because I was on my way to a funeral and wasn’t really in the burger mode. But now almost a year later Five Guys has brought their DC charm to New York and I’m craving a serious hamburger. I order a cheeseburger with grilled onions and A-1 sauce, a large order of fries, and a medium root beer (free refills!). Now, with a fast-food burger come two trade offs, temp control and ambience. All hamburgers at Five Guys are cooked medium well. Ugh. I like my burgers medium rare to rare. Love the leakage. So already before getting the burger, I’m thinking, eh. And then there’s the ambience. The lighting is bright as fuck. The walls are red-and-white checkerboard tiles. The seating is tightly packed with wooden chairs and tables. And in the end it’s get your burger eat your burger. So don’t come here expecting to hang out. My number is called and the man behind the counter hands me a brown paper bag, which is oily with spots of grease, a good sign. Inside the bag the fries are piping hot and somewhere underneath the jumble of fries is a hamburger wrapped in foil. The hamburger is a double patty, the cheese melted to a translucent orange, the onions chopped coarse grilled translucent as well. It’s a hefty burger, packed dense, and easy to manage. There’s no slop falling from the sides. Nice. The first bite goes down almost unnoticed. The second bite and I’m really enjoying the double-patty density, thinking to myself, yes, this burger is going to fill the hole, which is the number one requirement when thinking about a hamburger. Will it fill the hole, meaning will I still be hungry after eating this hamburger? And if ever the answer is yes, then I don’t care how fucking good the hamburger is. It has failed. All hamburgers must fill the hole. Period. And this hamburger has at least done that. Continuing on, I can taste the cheese, which slows the chewing process for its gluey appeal. Like it. The onions are there too, giving an almost tangy kick, extremely subtle. Suddenly I realize I’m missing that A-1 kick I requested. Either they forgot it, or added a dollop that went unnoticed, not a good sign. The fries were missing something as well. Touted as Cajun fries, there was nothing Cajun about them. Maybe they forgot to dust them with their Cajun spice, or dusted them lightly, who knows? So on the round up, the Five Guy’s hamburger out of one to five hamburgers gets a rating of two-and-half hamburgers. Meaning, if you’re ever in a rush and need the hole sufficiently filled, then Five Guys is the place to do it. Otherwise, skip it.
I found Five guys to be filling as well as tasty in a Coney island food stand quality sort of way, with well done being the standard.
For $9. 50 you get a burger with TWO, count 'em TWO patties, unlimited toppings and gooey cheese. My order consisted of fried onions, American cheese, and mushrooms. And it was worth every grease squirting bite! For $5.00 more you can get a brown bag chock full of gut busting, albeit tasteless, fries. Enough at least for three big guys to chow on (our friend Philip joined us). Throw in the two wooden barrels of peanuts that you can dip into while you wait for your food to be served, and in the end you walk away from Five guys feeling like you got your bang for your buck.
Complaints -
This place has a fast food vibe for sure, complete with terrible flat lighting. Combine that with the red and white tiles, and tight seating, and it all adds up to a "eat and go" atmosphere. Though a few steps above McDonald's, Five Guys still relies on an over abundance of salt and grease to compensate for quality.
In the end, the over all experience was what could be expected from a burger stand style joint. If you're looking for a quick bite to eat, that fills you up with plenty of greasy, salty, gooey flavor to boot then Five guys is the place to go, but if you're looking for a little bit more in your burger you might want to move on.
*** Five 5 guys gets a 2 burger rating***
Five Guys Burger
296 Bleeker Street
(other locations as well, this is the one we ate at)
- Burger Eater T
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